Whod you bang
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
