after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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