is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
