PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
