I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
