he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
