I hate all girls vehemently.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
