also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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