I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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