Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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