Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
