Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
