Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
