Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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