some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
