would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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