He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize