she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
