Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
