a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
