I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
