It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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