You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
