He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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