Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
