I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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