very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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