oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
