i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
