Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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