my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
