I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
sarcasm needs its own font
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
