hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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