dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's rum buckets o'clock
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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