That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
