So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
