I seem to have left my pride at pride
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
