I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
