I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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