i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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