I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
