Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
