What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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