Where is the hickey?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
