Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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