why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
