I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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