Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
