i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Fuck appropriateness.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
