Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
