Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
