I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
