This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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