Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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