It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
