She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
