so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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