OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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