i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
