At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
