Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
