I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
