all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You're earring is so big in my mouth
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
