i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it's great music for shaving your balls
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
