just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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