the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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