I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
